wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
