One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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