He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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