just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
