worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize