margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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