Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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