Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
