This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i've created a new STD.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
