Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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