We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
