She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
