Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize