This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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