no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
