Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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