is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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