I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
