So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
