u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize