It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
