i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
