Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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