boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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