Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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