There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
