remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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