Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
