Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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