It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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