Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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