walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
