I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
