Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Sex in the backyard? Check.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
