I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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