Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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