Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I need water and some morals
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
