I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize