She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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