I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
