A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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