she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
