Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
