I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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