a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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