i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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