? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
