My nipple is on Facebook.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
