i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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