I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
