I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
