maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
home. puking in laundry basket.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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