Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
