i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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