I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
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life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
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Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check