Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
