I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit