I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
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she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
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You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.