matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.