I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.