3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
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Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
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I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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