I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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