Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
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