So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
barbara walters just said penis...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
