bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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