Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
