it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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