Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
