New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
