literally had 100 drinks last night.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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