You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
