she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Why is your signature on my underwear?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
