Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize