I think I just saw someone hide a body.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
